i am having a bad day today. i don't know. i woke up not ready for the day. but i had to get out of bed to prepare for my review class. there was a nagging bad feeling. i can't explain it.
after drying my hair and waiting for my breakfast, i surfed the tv. dammit! no good show to watch. all the more i got restless. but i settled for news. even what was shown on anc wasn't nice! darn! so i instead watched news asia on cnn. which was really depressing because of the oil price jacking up and people have been protesting it all over asia!
anyway, as much as i was tempted to skip my review class today and read on my own, i can't. i was scheduled for my coaching anytime today. so i have to be in school.
as usual, i wasn't able to leave on time. i left at exactly 8. my class starts at 8! hahaha but if it's any consolation for me, my watch is 15 mins advance than their time. so i arrived 45 mins past 8, my time. yep, i travel that long. that's without traffic still. good thing my review schedule does not fall on a rush hour. so hooray for me!
when i arrived in school, the lecturer was still setting up his powerpoint presentation. so i haven't missed anything. waited some more. so i read the handout they gave us. it was actually the written version of the lecture yesterday.
when the lecture finally started, (the technical problem not solved) i didn't like the lecturer. it's 9am and he is just so boring! there wasn't any effort from him to keep us from falling asleep. so took out my celfone, waiting for the text that it's my turn for the coaching. i was hoping i'd be called in the morning then i'd skip the afternoon class. i really didn't like him. i was staring at him, trying to listen but then i just couldn't absorb it. at all. so i figured this is just a waste of time.
then the text came. around 11 am. so i was happy. i got my wish. i texted my helper that i'd be eating my lunch at home after all. gave instructions for additional viand to cook. when i arrived at the 'coaching room', i had to wait. someone was being coached before me pa. i was hoping for this coach. during the testimonial of the bar passers, her name was repeated several times. so i guess she gives effective advice.
so here we go. in fairness, neatness is very good. my form is not too good. i don't follow the cue words. well, at least not consistently. sometimes i do, but most often, i don't.hehehe and also, i don't spot "the issue". i can spot the issue, yes. but not the main one. so memo to me. analyze the problem well. i usually just read the question once. and whatever comes to mind, that's it. i'll revolve my argument around it. it's wrong! argh! and my answers didn't have logic! my 2nd and 3rd paragraphs don't connect. it doesn't make sense. so i guess i have a lot of improvements to do. my handwriting is too narrow. it's difficult to read daw. she suggested that i use a thicker ink. i will try that. oh, but i do have 1 number that's perfectly answered! she said it's short and sweet. and it's perfect. hehehe she even put a star on it.
after the coaching, it got me all down... something is missing. i can't figure out what. i have been diligently studying. but when she looked over my paper, it seemed to tell me that i'm not ready. despite and inspite my effort. i probably lack heart into this. i know i will be a good lawyer. i was prepared, built and ready to be this. but i can't seem to conquer the final step to becoming it. i can feel it. there's is a space. an empty, hollow blank somewhere in me... i have to figure it out fast and hopefully fill it in. time is running out. it's barely 3 months til the first sunday.. i can't afford another failure. i have to pass this this time. i have to.
after drying my hair and waiting for my breakfast, i surfed the tv. dammit! no good show to watch. all the more i got restless. but i settled for news. even what was shown on anc wasn't nice! darn! so i instead watched news asia on cnn. which was really depressing because of the oil price jacking up and people have been protesting it all over asia!
anyway, as much as i was tempted to skip my review class today and read on my own, i can't. i was scheduled for my coaching anytime today. so i have to be in school.
as usual, i wasn't able to leave on time. i left at exactly 8. my class starts at 8! hahaha but if it's any consolation for me, my watch is 15 mins advance than their time. so i arrived 45 mins past 8, my time. yep, i travel that long. that's without traffic still. good thing my review schedule does not fall on a rush hour. so hooray for me!
when i arrived in school, the lecturer was still setting up his powerpoint presentation. so i haven't missed anything. waited some more. so i read the handout they gave us. it was actually the written version of the lecture yesterday.
when the lecture finally started, (the technical problem not solved) i didn't like the lecturer. it's 9am and he is just so boring! there wasn't any effort from him to keep us from falling asleep. so took out my celfone, waiting for the text that it's my turn for the coaching. i was hoping i'd be called in the morning then i'd skip the afternoon class. i really didn't like him. i was staring at him, trying to listen but then i just couldn't absorb it. at all. so i figured this is just a waste of time.
then the text came. around 11 am. so i was happy. i got my wish. i texted my helper that i'd be eating my lunch at home after all. gave instructions for additional viand to cook. when i arrived at the 'coaching room', i had to wait. someone was being coached before me pa. i was hoping for this coach. during the testimonial of the bar passers, her name was repeated several times. so i guess she gives effective advice.
so here we go. in fairness, neatness is very good. my form is not too good. i don't follow the cue words. well, at least not consistently. sometimes i do, but most often, i don't.hehehe and also, i don't spot "the issue". i can spot the issue, yes. but not the main one. so memo to me. analyze the problem well. i usually just read the question once. and whatever comes to mind, that's it. i'll revolve my argument around it. it's wrong! argh! and my answers didn't have logic! my 2nd and 3rd paragraphs don't connect. it doesn't make sense. so i guess i have a lot of improvements to do. my handwriting is too narrow. it's difficult to read daw. she suggested that i use a thicker ink. i will try that. oh, but i do have 1 number that's perfectly answered! she said it's short and sweet. and it's perfect. hehehe she even put a star on it.
after the coaching, it got me all down... something is missing. i can't figure out what. i have been diligently studying. but when she looked over my paper, it seemed to tell me that i'm not ready. despite and inspite my effort. i probably lack heart into this. i know i will be a good lawyer. i was prepared, built and ready to be this. but i can't seem to conquer the final step to becoming it. i can feel it. there's is a space. an empty, hollow blank somewhere in me... i have to figure it out fast and hopefully fill it in. time is running out. it's barely 3 months til the first sunday.. i can't afford another failure. i have to pass this this time. i have to.
2 comments:
Fidel Nemenzo is my professor in Science, Technology and Society (STS) and a mathematics professor at the University of the Philippines. He is actually the son of former UP President Francisco Nemenzo, your grandad's second cousin.
hi frances! thanks for that information. my grandfather's family is really from Cebu. But he moved to Negros when he married. so my dad and his siblings grew up here, in Bacolod. and goes the same with us. thanks again. appreciate it.
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