clarification

i was checking my blog this morning. thinking of writing something. but then i started reading my last entry. and frankly, quite shocked to see a comment.hehehe i haven't told anyone that i have this blog. well, i am just crazy to think that no one will stumble upon this. and to think it's kind of out there.

anyway, i felt really bad about the part i wrote about me not wanting to be associated with the Dean. i didn't mean to make it sound negative. i wrote that blog entry when i was having a bad day. and naturally my feelings were overwhelming. no intention of anything negative.

so i will explain myself.

the Nemenzo family really hailed from Pinamungahan, Cebu. My grandmother came from Isabela, Negros Occidental. they both met in Cebu. my grandmother was a college student. and he was a law student. they would describe his courtship as "dumadaan sa butas ng karayum". she was living in a dormitory operated by nuns. so go figure. but lucky for him, he got the woman. my dad, thier eldest of 7 boys, was born in Cebu. but later they moved to Isabela. they grew up there. my dad went back to Cebu for college. but most of his siblings studied in Bacolod after my grandfather retired from the judiciary. needless to say, i too grew up here. i haven't met or been close to any of the relatives of my grandfather. except the family of his younger brother who moved and lived in Cadiz. other than them, relatives from the Nemenzo side are mere acquaintances.

i was a freshman in UST when he was named the new president of UP. i read the interview he did for the Inquirer. it gave me chills. i was beaming with so much pride that i am a relative of his. i have not met him yet then. i have only heard great stories about him. but apart of me feels the familiarity. he kinda resembles my grandfather. he has the same nickname the same as his.

i only know him by name through the stories of my dad. i know that he is an extraordinarily intelligent man. a prominent figure in the society. that his family has quite a reputation in UP. which kinda led me to make a mental note never to enrol in that school. why? i am intimidated of course. i would probably drown with pressure. people assuming you are as brilliant as them. something which i humbly admit that i am not. i am just a kid, trying to find my place in this world. the last thing i need is having to exert too much effort trying to be someone i'm not.

as my dad has always said, 'once you're happy with what you do, you're good'. no pressure. no attachments. no promises. it's all about what i want.

so there. i don't want to be associated with him because i'm scared to be a disappointment to him, to others and to myself. i don't want the spotlight. all i want is a simple but productive career/life. =)